Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
