In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
