You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
i dont even know how to be here
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
