So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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