Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
