Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
