my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
