I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
