Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Randomize
