btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
