talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Randomize
