my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Randomize
