Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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