wat bout pragnant strippers??
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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