There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
