it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Randomize
