I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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