I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
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