My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Randomize
