So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
