i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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