Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
