I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
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