he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
