So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
