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sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
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