You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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