At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Boobs speak an international language.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
