she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Randomize
