Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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