It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
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