She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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