I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I have post one night stand depression
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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