is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize
