i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
You can't special order awesome
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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