oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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