College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize