I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize