i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
