Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
