you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
