I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
