He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
This toilet bowl is my home.
I did not marry a roomba.
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