dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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