Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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