sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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