Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
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if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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