she woke up with a sticky ear
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize