I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
