white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
