I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
