I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Randomize
