So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
