there's paper in my vomit.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
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