i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize