...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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