There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
