I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
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I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
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Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?