i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.