sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.