Texts From Last Night

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  (818): View more from California

  That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff

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  (818): That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff http://tfl.nu/4b3c
  Replies (33) Good night (712) Bad night (8328)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome

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  (419): two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome http://tfl.nu/ey6z
  Replies (11) Good night (5007) Bad night (937)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich

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  (717): Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich http://tfl.nu/kdwm
  Replies (5) Good night (731) Bad night (2322)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.

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  (303): Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos. http://tfl.nu/cmhg
  Replies (11) Good night (5338) Bad night (789)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.

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  (203): I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis. http://tfl.nu/m2ek
  Replies (15) Good night (6141) Bad night (905)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.

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  (814): I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups. http://tfl.nu/oj47
  Replies (13) Good night (3521) Bad night (1076)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.

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  (717): It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice. http://tfl.nu/vxzt
  Replies (3) Good night (2087) Bad night (724)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.

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  (214): The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro. http://tfl.nu/i908
  Replies (1) Good night (2033) Bad night (762)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...

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  (402): Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways... http://tfl.nu/6fzc
  Replies (8) Good night (1950) Bad night (829)
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  And I feel bad.

  (716): View more from New York

  Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?

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  (585): And I feel bad. (716): Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft? http://tfl.nu/a3w7
  Replies (7) Good night (1665) Bad night (734)
• Favorite

  (510): View more from California

  I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.

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  (510): I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English. http://tfl.nu/sei7
  Replies (4) Good night (1381) Bad night (429)
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.

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  (704): Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone. http://tfl.nu/kasl
  Replies (3) Good night (766) Bad night (401)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.

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  (303): Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up. http://tfl.nu/afn3
  Replies (6) Good night (987) Bad night (382)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD

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  (315): My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD http://tfl.nu/z1nh
  Replies (10) Good night (1470) Bad night (400)
• Favorite

  (925): View more from California

  I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.

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  (925): I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants. http://tfl.nu/rh3a
  Replies (3) Good night (635) Bad night (192)

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