hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
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home. puking in laundry basket.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
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On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia