Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
i think i have two assholes
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Randomize
