New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
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