Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
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