The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
