Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
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oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
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Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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