I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Randomize
