farters have to be the big spoon...
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
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