sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
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